Friday Links: Anchors Aweigh!

I'm still not blogging as much as I'd like to, but I hope to do more as my wedding season slows down... in 2-3 months. Ah well, I'll keep doing what I can. Til then, I'm actually getting ready to head out on vacation. I'll post about it when I return, but very much looking forward to being unplugged (by force, but sometimes that's the best way) - starting to think unplugging at least once a week is the way to go. Please, please, please, can we stop expecting wedding gifts to be worth a certain amount and then being horribly tacky and bitchy about it when they don't live up to your crazy expectations? Thank you.

Moving on to the real stuff, The Atlantic had an awesome article about feminism, the sharing of household duties, men vs. women, and marriage. It's really fantastic and I highly recommend it. Thoughtful stuff (though it is not very gender neutral, so apologies to LGBT folk).

The NY Times published a Vows story that got super hyped up and I have to admit was rather fabulous (professional juggler falls in love with artist who sets things on fire? Rad.)

Remember my Say No to the Dress post? Well here are a couple more options for ladies who want to wear pants to their wedding

And finally, the photos from the weddings I've been doing this year have slowly been rolling in. The amazing photographer Amber Wilkie just blogged about Shira and Graeme and I adore her pics. It was an awesome wedding and while I hope to do my own blog post about it in the future, check it out now cause it'll undoubtedly make you smile.

Hope you all had a wonderful 4th! I'll catch you on the flip side...

Musings on Equality

“The federal statute is invalid, for no legitimate purpose overcomes the purpose and effect to disparage and injure those whom the State, by its marriage laws, sought to protect in personhood and dignity,” Justice Kennedy wrote. “By seeking to displace this protection and treating those persons as living in marriages less respected than others, the federal statute is in violation of the Fifth Amendment.” It's been a pretty great day. DOMA was overturned and the ruling on Prop 8, though not the complete victory it could have been, at least means Californians get the marriage equality laws they want and most likely gay marriage will become legal there. Inequality is still out there (my marriage is recognized in GA while other same sex marriages are not), but I think the steps taken today are huge and important and historic.

My decision to be quite open about my support of same sex marriage wasn't a difficult one for me to make (as I've discussed previously here). But I've recently been reminded that it's a decision that others appreciate. I had an amazing time at the Say I Do Expo recently, and met some truly remarkable couples (that I'm dying to work with - call me, please!). Beyond that, I recently had a vendor at a wedding take me aside at the end of the evening. He said he'd taken a look at my website and that he wanted to thank me for being so open about my support, because he was going to his sister's wedding the following week. She was marrying another woman. His quiet and simple thank you really struck me. It reminded me that though my support is easy and I don't give it a second thought, there are a lot of other people out there who still don't support marriage equality and same sex couples. So here's hoping today is yet another step in the right direction. Love is love. And rights are rights.

p.s. Edith Windsor rules

Say I Do Expo 2013

I'm baaaaack! Wow. Wedding season hit and I disappeared from this blog. I'm going to try and be better for the rest of the season!

One of the things keeping me so busy, besides the lovely weddings I've been working on, was the Say I Do Expo which I was honored to attend this past Sunday. It was a wonderful day - I met a bunch of amazing LGBT couples about to get engaged, some who had just gotten engaged, and others very close to their wedding date! I wasn't sure what to expect from this expo but it was a truly wonderful experience and had a great turn-out. I also met a lot of awesome vendors as well - one of whom took some pics of my booth and was kind enough to share them with me! Big thank you to photographer Chris Ferenzi - you all need to check him out. Looking forward to working with some of the couples I met at Say I Do this year and next!

(I look a little tired... perhaps doing a wedding the day before with a 15 hour work day wasn't the best idea?)

Friday Links: Downton, mutual proposal, and great expectations

I was terrible about my blogging this week, but at least I have some interesting links for you this lovely Friday!

This post on A Practical Wedding made me way more emotional than I expected. I think it's a gorgeously written piece that struck me because it so beautifully illustrated how the "traditional" engagement isn't the only way to do it. It made me really feel for the first time how romantic and lovely a mutual engagement can be. I really encourage everyone to read this because rather than just talking theoretically about how "men don't have to do a big, grand, surprise proposal to a woman" - this shows you how it could be. And hot-damn, it's really lovely.

I had very mixed feelings about this couple who recently wed in my town of Del Ray. They had their first kiss at the altar. I think at the end of the day, I gotta say that if it works for you, good for you.

Very interesting piece on NPR about how the gender imbalance in China is impacting marriage. The scarcity of women is now giving them bargaining power when it comes to marriage. Negotiations, bride prices,... very different perspective on marriage.

Finally for some fun stuff - I loved this piece on babble about disneyland surprises gone wrong. This may seem off-topic, but I thought it really illustrated very well how important expectations are (yes, especially for kids - but for lots of adults, too). Whether it's setting your family and friends up to have realistic expectations for what your wedding celebration will be like, talking about marriage and commitment before a surprise proposal, or just creating epic fails like these hilarious disneyland surprises, it's always important to remember how important plans can be to some people, and how changing the plan and thereby messing with their expectations can often cause big issues. Plus, these videos are just hilarious.

Great giveaway on Spoonflower (an awesome site where you can design or buy custom fabric) - you can get a custom wedding print. The giveaway goes til May 1st, so enter now!

Finally, I had to end with my favorite random link of the day. You all know I love me some Downton, and I love me some musicals. Hilarious sneak peak at their new season - Downton's musical episode.

Happy Friday!

Friday Links: Think Positively

This week. THIS WEEK. Good grief. It's been a rough one for so many reasons. Monday's bombing hit hard for me. A huge majority of my family lives in the Boston area. My mother and step-dad, my sister, many cousins, uncles and aunts. I had several friends who were both running the marathon and at the marathon. And let's not even go into the Senate's decision on gun control. So.

I really want to bring some positivity up in here.

Let's start with a beautiful piece my cousin wrote about running with her fear. Yes, the same writer cousin who has an awesome blog you should be reading. It's a gorgeous piece about fear, running, and good old beantown. If you don't read any other links, please read this one.

I also really like this piece from The Atlantic about how to move forward after these terrifying acts.

Let's also not forget that it's springtime, people! The time for growth, renewal, and flowers! If you happen to live in the Shenandoah Valley area, check out Kinfolk's upcoming flower potluck. Love it. Wish I lived a bit closer...

I am also recently obsessed with an awesome new blog called Advanced Style. It chronicles amazing older women and their beauty and fashion. LOVE. This post I thought was especially wonderful, this week of all weeks. Wise words from a stylish wise woman on the power of positive thinking.

And finally. Can we all please give it up for this most amazing future bride? I think it's the most kick-ass description of a dream wedding I've ever read - not to mention the most succinct and rad description of why non-white wedding dresses are the sh!t. (oh, and for you old folks out there like me, MCR is "My Chemical Romance" - amaze).

Happy Friday folks. Stay positive and let's keep on keepin' on.

Anniversary Parties

I’ve been planning a lot of anniversary parties this year. This past fall my husband, brother-in-law and sister-in-law surprised our parents with a 40th anniversary party. We held it in a private room at a local restaurant and kept it on the intimate side to make sure friends and family had a chance to talk and celebrate. It was a great evening, with great food and beverage, and they were actually very surprised (as you can see....)

I’m no florist, but I put together some simple arrangements, and my sister-in-law had a caricature done of the two of them which guests then signed as a memento for the evening.

More recently, at the end of March I traveled back to NYC to help celebrate my sister’s 10 year anniversary with her partner. They, too, wanted to keep it simple and intimate - with about 40-50 people - so we again chose a private room in a local restaurant. I (yet again) played basic florist and borrowed some awesome modern bud vases from a friend to just bump up the decor ever so slightly. I also put together a little collage of photos of them and their baby in the shape of a “10” as a little surprise for them.

It was a great evening and so much fun!

Private rooms in restaurants are a great option for people looking to have smaller gatherings. They usually don’t charge you for the room/space, just for the food and drink. They also usually provide the tables, chairs, linens, and even the votives - and of course, they also provide the service. It’s a really easy, simple way to hold a small cocktail party (assuming you’re ok with paying for the food and drink). I highly recommend not forgetting restaurants when you’re thinking of venues for any gathering - even weddings!

And congrats again to all the wonderful couples in my family!

Friday Links: Reasons to Party

  I wanted to start this Friday off with post that I think is super essential for any engaged couple to read. It is, of course, from the always wise writers that contribute to A Practical Wedding. And it stresses that your wedding isn't your last chance to throw a party. I love this (really not very controversial or mind-blowing) notion. Frankly, I think it not only contributes to an easier wedding planning process, but also to a better, happier life. When you take a step back and realize that you can throw a big ol' party for any reason, at any time... that can be pretty powerful. It takes the pressure off, and also reminds you to find reasons to celebrate throughout your marriage and your life. So head on over, read it, enjoy, and then tell me what your next bash is going to be. Mine is February 1, 2014 (seriously. more on that later).

It's also cherry blossom season! Woot woot! I've never been in DC during the cherry blossoms so I took an afternoon off and headed over there this week to check them out. They were gorgeous and I loved it. So happy spring has sprung. What better way to celebrate the cherry blossoms than with a cherry cocktail? And my spring fever made me love this post on how to incorporate edible flowers into your wedding.

Finally, I adored this story about a VA couple that just recently got married on their 20th anniversary. Go check them out - and if you're a same sex couple in the VA area who was legally married out-of-state and are excited about the upcoming Supreme Court decision on Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act, check out Equality Virginia's CookOUT and host a BBQ!

Happy Friday!

Freedom in Commitment

The Atlantic published a wisdom-filled letter-to-the-editor a couple days ago from a gentleman describing what he'd learned in four decades of marriage. I encourage you to read his letter in full, as well as the article it was in response to. I was especially moved by his third piece of advice, "Freedom in Commitment"

"Most successful art or invention is born inside constraint.  What is beautiful or functional is shaped by boundaries. They say "here, but not there." Commitment is a sorting hat that crisply defines what belongs and what doesn't. Those edges are a source of freedom: they declare that you don't have to worry or consider what's outside of them." 

I enjoyed this bit of advice for two reasons. The first is that when asked why I liked producing theatre, I'd often quote a similar line - that most successful art develops within some kind of structure and order. As producer, I enjoyed being the one to create and maintain that structure and order while the artists created their art, and I truly do think it's an essential part of the creative process and I liked being part of that. What's funny is that until I myself got married, I didn't realize it also applied to marriage.

When people ask what surprised me most about marriage I always say that I was surprised by the sense of freedom. Before getting married, I feared that I'd one day feel trapped - that despite the fact that I was marrying someone amazing and perfect for me, somehow the institution of marriage would undoubtedly bound me and I'd lose my independence. But it was the complete opposite. For the first time in years and years and years I felt truly free. It's a beautiful feeling. So though it may not ring true for everyone, I love that this writer finally described what I've always been unable to explain - and did it so well and so wisely.

Marriage Equality

I'm very sad I'm unable to be downtown today, supporting marriage equality. But wanted to do a quick shout-out here to show my support. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I love love. And in my opinion, you can't be in the wedding industry, and love love and be anti-gay marriage. As the Onion pointed out so well today, I can't believe we're still dealing with and discussing this issue. So let's do this, Supreme Court. Seriously. I pray that by the end of the day I feel thankful for having personally witnessed a great moment in history.

And let's not forget: "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

p.s. This is also a great article my husband made me aware of. I love hearing words of support and encouragement where you least expect it.

Friday Links: Officiants, One-Lowsmanship, & more suits!

  I had a very busy week this week. Exciting new collaborations with Capitol Romance and a photo shoot with the awesome Stephen Gosling (I'll share the pics once I have them).

But first thing's first: Best. Officiant. EVER.

Per this week's post on lady's menswear, more suits here! Click through to see some lovely cream options from H&M, available April 4th. Line up, ladies.

There have been a lot of mixed reviews on the season finale of Girls. However you felt about it, this breakdown of how long it would have actually taken Adam to run to Hannah's apartment killed me - the ex-New Yorker in me loved this. I used to live in Prospect Heights. The idea that he'd even consider traveling from Prospect Heights to Greenpoint (let alone take the G train), is absolutely insane.

Finally, I adored Off-Beat Bride's post about one-lowsmanship & one-upsmanship this week. Read it. Now. It ties in with my post on the pressure to be crafty, and I will nod my head til it falls off to this brilliant statement: "Engaged women don't need another voice telling them they're failing. It doesn't matter if it's a voice of tradition telling them they're wrong for wanting to have their wedding in the round, or a voice of non-tradition telling them they're wrong for wanting to wear a white dress — brides need encouragement and support."

**(except that I'd add "engaged women and men" but that's nit picky)