marriage equality

The Personal Is Political

Photo by Paired Images Like many of you, I woke up Wednesday in absolute horror. I’d slept a mere 4 hours. I woke to the sound of my daughter singing “Twinkle Twinkle” to herself in her crib and burst into tears. I also had that brief moment of legitimately considering a move. Americans value my worth and the worth of so many, so little? Fine, I’m done. I’m out. I was ready to shut down The Plannery. Get away from the DC area. Attempt to find some solace in solitude.

We are living among people who are silent (or not so silent) racists and/or misogynists. That is clear. Our new president has been an advocate of sexual harassment and misogyny, xenophobia, racism, and has been beyond vocal about his anti-Muslim, immigrant and LGBTQ leanings. Our rights are going to be threatened beyond anything we’ve ever seen.

So I need to be here for them. And I need to be here for you. Because though I’m a teeny, teeny, teeny tiny blip in this completely effed up, overwhelmingly terrible world, I believe that maintaining the strong voice of acceptance, love and equality that The Plannery has always had from day one is something I have to keep doing. I think it does actually matter that when a same-sex couple is searching for someone to support them, that they see my site filled with inclusive language and photos. That when an interracial couple is looking for assistance, they see this post. That someone looking for help who feels their rights, lives and love threatened, sees that there are businesses - and more importantly, people behind those businesses - who support them 100%. The personal is political. The world is so overwhelming right now, that I have to think small. I have to focus on what I can control. I have to believe that the small, personal choices I make every day will make a difference.

I have no idea how the wedding industry is going to change based on the tidal wave of shit I see coming. I have no idea if The Plannery will be able to survive. But I will try. Because while it’s nothing - nothing - compared to what so many people in public service and non-profits do every day, I have to believe my little company, my small voice that says “you matter, your love matters, I am here for you” might change someone’s day, someone’s life. We need to take time to mourn, but then we need to continue to celebrates life’s joys. I hold that thought close to my heart when my young daughter looks up at me and smiles, oblivious to what’s happening around her. I hold that in my heart when I head off this weekend to work a wedding, and hopefully bring a small bit of a joy to a family and community that has had an extremely tough week.

Much more important than this tiny company, I urge everyone to donate to the organizations that are going to need support and will be fighting way harder than I am to help make this world right again. Jezebel put together a wonderful list of options that I plan on donating to - both my money and my time. Please check it out and take action. Our time, our money, our actions matter. Sending peace and love to you all.


Musings on Equality

“The federal statute is invalid, for no legitimate purpose overcomes the purpose and effect to disparage and injure those whom the State, by its marriage laws, sought to protect in personhood and dignity,” Justice Kennedy wrote. “By seeking to displace this protection and treating those persons as living in marriages less respected than others, the federal statute is in violation of the Fifth Amendment.” It's been a pretty great day. DOMA was overturned and the ruling on Prop 8, though not the complete victory it could have been, at least means Californians get the marriage equality laws they want and most likely gay marriage will become legal there. Inequality is still out there (my marriage is recognized in GA while other same sex marriages are not), but I think the steps taken today are huge and important and historic.

My decision to be quite open about my support of same sex marriage wasn't a difficult one for me to make (as I've discussed previously here). But I've recently been reminded that it's a decision that others appreciate. I had an amazing time at the Say I Do Expo recently, and met some truly remarkable couples (that I'm dying to work with - call me, please!). Beyond that, I recently had a vendor at a wedding take me aside at the end of the evening. He said he'd taken a look at my website and that he wanted to thank me for being so open about my support, because he was going to his sister's wedding the following week. She was marrying another woman. His quiet and simple thank you really struck me. It reminded me that though my support is easy and I don't give it a second thought, there are a lot of other people out there who still don't support marriage equality and same sex couples. So here's hoping today is yet another step in the right direction. Love is love. And rights are rights.

p.s. Edith Windsor rules

Friday Links: Reasons to Party

  I wanted to start this Friday off with post that I think is super essential for any engaged couple to read. It is, of course, from the always wise writers that contribute to A Practical Wedding. And it stresses that your wedding isn't your last chance to throw a party. I love this (really not very controversial or mind-blowing) notion. Frankly, I think it not only contributes to an easier wedding planning process, but also to a better, happier life. When you take a step back and realize that you can throw a big ol' party for any reason, at any time... that can be pretty powerful. It takes the pressure off, and also reminds you to find reasons to celebrate throughout your marriage and your life. So head on over, read it, enjoy, and then tell me what your next bash is going to be. Mine is February 1, 2014 (seriously. more on that later).

It's also cherry blossom season! Woot woot! I've never been in DC during the cherry blossoms so I took an afternoon off and headed over there this week to check them out. They were gorgeous and I loved it. So happy spring has sprung. What better way to celebrate the cherry blossoms than with a cherry cocktail? And my spring fever made me love this post on how to incorporate edible flowers into your wedding.

Finally, I adored this story about a VA couple that just recently got married on their 20th anniversary. Go check them out - and if you're a same sex couple in the VA area who was legally married out-of-state and are excited about the upcoming Supreme Court decision on Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act, check out Equality Virginia's CookOUT and host a BBQ!

Happy Friday!

Marriage Equality

I'm very sad I'm unable to be downtown today, supporting marriage equality. But wanted to do a quick shout-out here to show my support. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I love love. And in my opinion, you can't be in the wedding industry, and love love and be anti-gay marriage. As the Onion pointed out so well today, I can't believe we're still dealing with and discussing this issue. So let's do this, Supreme Court. Seriously. I pray that by the end of the day I feel thankful for having personally witnessed a great moment in history.

And let's not forget: "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."



p.s. This is also a great article my husband made me aware of. I love hearing words of support and encouragement where you least expect it.

Friday Links: Miss Piggy and an ambush wedding

Hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's day! Anyone get engaged? If so, just be thankful this wasn't your proposal. Great recap of the really awkward, basically horrible ambush *cough* oh sorry "flash" wedding GMA staged yesterday. It really broke my heart.

In happier news, Miss Piggy is getting married (again).

And even happier news, DC is getting it's own branch of the fabulous bridal shop, Lovely, in May. I bought my own dress at this shop in NYC and I'm so thrilled they're going to be in DC now. They are hip, down-to-earth, and offer beautiful dresses and other accessories. Very exciting!

And finally, congratulations Illinois! Now House, get your sh!t together and pass this thing.

Happy Friday everyone!


Maryland, I love you

  I love love. I wouldn't (and couldn't) be in the wedding business if I didn't. And so while I try not to get too political on this blog, the one thing I never shy away from is my support of marriage equality. Though I'd like to believe I'd support it no matter what, it is personal. I have too many family members, too many great friends, too many wonderful colleagues that are directly impacted by marriage equality to ignore this basic civil right.

So I am delighted (and thrilled, and giddy, and basically jumping and leaping around my house) that Maryland's people came out and voted yesterday - a historic day in which, for the first time ever, the people upheld marriage equality by vote.

Politics can get me down sometimes - but the basic awesomeness of love always makes me feel better and gives me the warm fuzzies. I simply do not believe our nation can be hurt by having MORE love in this world. More commitment, more love, more marriages, and more weddings in the Metro area? Yes, please. Just, yes. So thank you, Marylandians - you truly inspire me and give me a sh*t-ton of hope.


From Obama's speech last night:

"What makes America exceptional are the bonds that hold together the most diverse nation on earth. The belief that our destiny is shared; that this country only works when we accept certain obligations to one another and to future generations. The freedom which so many Americans have fought for and died for come with responsibilities as well as rights. And among those are love and charity and duty and patriotism. That’s what makes America great...

I believe we can keep the promise of our founders, the idea that if you’re willing to work hard, it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from or what you look like or where you love. It doesn’t matter whether you’re black or white or Hispanic or Asian or Native American or young or old or rich or poor, able, disabled, gay or straight, you can make it here in America if you’re willing to try."