smash the patriarchy

The Personal Is Political

Photo by Paired Images Like many of you, I woke up Wednesday in absolute horror. I’d slept a mere 4 hours. I woke to the sound of my daughter singing “Twinkle Twinkle” to herself in her crib and burst into tears. I also had that brief moment of legitimately considering a move. Americans value my worth and the worth of so many, so little? Fine, I’m done. I’m out. I was ready to shut down The Plannery. Get away from the DC area. Attempt to find some solace in solitude.

We are living among people who are silent (or not so silent) racists and/or misogynists. That is clear. Our new president has been an advocate of sexual harassment and misogyny, xenophobia, racism, and has been beyond vocal about his anti-Muslim, immigrant and LGBTQ leanings. Our rights are going to be threatened beyond anything we’ve ever seen.

So I need to be here for them. And I need to be here for you. Because though I’m a teeny, teeny, teeny tiny blip in this completely effed up, overwhelmingly terrible world, I believe that maintaining the strong voice of acceptance, love and equality that The Plannery has always had from day one is something I have to keep doing. I think it does actually matter that when a same-sex couple is searching for someone to support them, that they see my site filled with inclusive language and photos. That when an interracial couple is looking for assistance, they see this post. That someone looking for help who feels their rights, lives and love threatened, sees that there are businesses - and more importantly, people behind those businesses - who support them 100%. The personal is political. The world is so overwhelming right now, that I have to think small. I have to focus on what I can control. I have to believe that the small, personal choices I make every day will make a difference.

I have no idea how the wedding industry is going to change based on the tidal wave of shit I see coming. I have no idea if The Plannery will be able to survive. But I will try. Because while it’s nothing - nothing - compared to what so many people in public service and non-profits do every day, I have to believe my little company, my small voice that says “you matter, your love matters, I am here for you” might change someone’s day, someone’s life. We need to take time to mourn, but then we need to continue to celebrates life’s joys. I hold that thought close to my heart when my young daughter looks up at me and smiles, oblivious to what’s happening around her. I hold that in my heart when I head off this weekend to work a wedding, and hopefully bring a small bit of a joy to a family and community that has had an extremely tough week.

Much more important than this tiny company, I urge everyone to donate to the organizations that are going to need support and will be fighting way harder than I am to help make this world right again. Jezebel put together a wonderful list of options that I plan on donating to - both my money and my time. Please check it out and take action. Our time, our money, our actions matter. Sending peace and love to you all.

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