Why non traditional weddings matter (a.k.a. what zombies can teach us all)

My sister recently participated in a very non-traditional wedding. Before I share the details (which are ridiculously amazing, FYI), I wanted to talk about why I think non-traditional weddings are so important - for everyone. Even those who don’t consider themselves “off-beat.”

Here’s the thing: I think when making major life decisions - marriage, kids, career - it’s important to question. Why do you want to do something in a particular way? What might it look like? What are the other options? And beyond the questions, perspective is key. Understanding where your point of view is coming from, what traditions you’re drawing from, why you envision something a certain way is important.

People who break from tradition make us think. They make us question. Would I ever want a wedding like that? A marriage like that? A job like that? Seeing non-traditional choices reminds us that the choices are there. That choices do exist in this world - a world that often makes us feel like we have none or that things have to be done a certain way. They let us take a step back and realize how many creative, crazy, fun options there are in life.

Long story short, I find weddings like the one my sister participated in to be really refreshing and a helpful way to blow your mind while also establishing your own opinions. You can’t know what you like and what you don’t unless you actually ask the question. Until you consider other possibilities. And hell, this wedding is NOT for everyone. In fact, one might argue this wedding was truly for this couple and this couple only. But it definitely made me think. And more importantly - smile.

So - speaking of things that inspire and make you question - my sister has always done that for me. She’s always pushing herself to try new things - rollerderby, rock climbing, and she recently did some aerial classes. One of her friends from that class asked her if she’d be interested in being a zombie at a wedding. You read that right. A zombie wedding.

Here’s the deal - the bride and groom staged a fairly traditional-looking ceremony. They wore a white dress and a suit, and an officiant began with some traditional (but funny) vows. Halfway through the ceremony, zombies emerged from the sides and started attacking the bride and groom. The bride and groom tore off their costumes (yes, these were tear-away bride and groom wear), to reveal zentai suits and starting battling the zombies. I’m sorry, but that just makes my day.

And that was only the beginning. My sister had this to say about the whole experience: “It was very fun, liberating (I got to look ugly at a wedding!), fun for the guests (many people asked if they could have their pictures taken with us afterwards), and probably the most individualized commitment ceremony ever (aerialist performances, videos of the couple, their favorite band played, and both the bride and the groom wore fabulous evening gowns for the dinner and dancing)” - I told you this was non-traditional!

I don’t have photos of the whole shebang (yet! hope to share some once they're available), but thought I’d leave you with pics of my sister as a kick-ass (and really scary) zombie as well as this final thought: this wedding was pretty extreme - but whether you’re considering zombies, or just considering non traditional centerpieces - remember to entertain the possibilities and ask the questions that will lead you towards a wedding that is truly yours. Sometimes exploring non-traditional paths can lead you towards your own path. That's true for weddings, and for life.

Melissa and Tashia // DC Engagement Shoot

  I haven't featured an engagement shoot on my blog before. But two of my gorgeous brides, Melissa and Tashia (getting married in May 2014), sent me the link to their pics by the excellent Chris Ferenzi and I just had to share them with you. I love these women - they've been such a pleasure to work with, are sweet, smart and super in-love. Enjoy these stunners (both the ladies and the photos) and have a wonderful Tuesday!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I've finished cleaning and prepping and errand running - so in my first free moment (whew), I wanted to wish you all a very happy thanksgiving! We're hosting my husband's side of the family and some friends who are coming down from NYC. It's a smaller gathering than some holidays, but I'm looking forward to it. The husband was off hunting with his father and brother and I just learned they bagged 7 geese so we're doing goose again this year!

Things have been pretty stressful for me lately, so I tried to keep Thanksgiving simple even thought we're hosting. Easy table decor, easy place cards, easy does it. I think Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday to really take a step back and remember what matters and what doesn't. Direct attention on the blessings and the priorities in life. And although I'm an event planner and I love me some gatherings and decor and festivities… sometimes it's good to keep it simple so you can focus on what really matters: the friends and the family.

So I'm wishing you all a wonderful day filled with thanks and love (and hopefully some tasty food as well). Happy Thanksgiving!

Eliza and Josh // Adelphi Mill, MD // MD Wedding Planner

You folks may remember Eliza and Josh from their adorable library engagement session over on Capitol Romance. These two are quirky, awesome, creative, and bubbling with energy - as you can tell from their rainbow theme!

Their reception was at the Adelphi Mill, which is where I, along with many friends and family, helped put this DIY reception together. This was not an easy one, and like Linn and Dave’s wedding, hopefully a good reminder to you all that DIY demands a lot of effort. We lugged chairs and tables up and down stairs. There were lots of staple guns, floral shears, vans, and boxes. But as always, it was certainly worth it. Eliza (and her mother) caught DIY fever and went nuts (I mean this in seriously the most positive way). They created rainbow hand-dipped oreos. They created over 1,000 paper flowers. They created the beautiful crepe paper garlands that hung at the venue. My favorite detail was that Eliza and Josh bought lots of second-hand books, wrapped them, and put them at the tables to double both as centerpieces and favors. Their escort cards were book plates so each guest could mark their new book (the children ran around like crazy trying to gather all the Harry Potter books they could find - and, duh,  of course there were Harry Potter books).

Guests were treated to an amazing Mac N Cheese meal by CapMac, followed by dancing downstairs with cupcakes by Red Velvet Cupcakery (and check out those Monsters Inc cake toppers).

Congrats to this super-fab couple - it was such fun being a part of your day!

Wedding lessons learned // Part 2 // DC wedding planner

Time for Lessons Learned: Part 2 where I take a look back at this year and impart some knowledge (some silly, some very practical) which will hopefully help you with your own plans. Last week we focused on DIY lessons. Now some more general items:

Lesson #5: Remember to feed your vendors

Most people are remembering this in their plans, but I wanted to mention it again. It’s important that you not only request vendor meals (and don’t forget to check their contracts to see if it has to be a hot meal, or if a sandwich/packed lunch meal will do), but to consider when all the vendors will actually be eating and add it to your timeline. This not only notifies your vendors that you’ve thought of them (which is always nice for us to see), but it also helps inform the caterer so they know when to have those meals ready. Vendors often eat at different times (and some have specific requests, so always check with them first) - but in general, the photographer and DJ eat during dinner, once the guests have been served. There aren’t any huge moments the photographer will be missing (and pics of people eating are never very attractive), and the DJ is usually just playing a playlist they’ve put together for dinner - it’s not as interactive a portion of the evening (like post-dinner dancing). You want your vendors to have energy to do their job well. Most of your vendors are working very long hours on the day-of. So feed them, please.

Lesson #6: Let go

This is a hard one. It’s hard for me as an event coordinator and planner where it’s my JOB to do my absolute best to make sure there has been clear communication, the event is running smoothly, and it’s everything you want it to be. But no matter how hard you try, at the end of the day, you can’t control it all. I was reminded of this at a wedding this year. I’d had a very long conversation with the D.J. I’d sent multiple copies of the timeline with updates and changes based on his input. Despite all of that, as well as the usual confirmation the week-of, there were major issues. He showed up incredibly late for set-up. He didn’t have the couple’s do-not play list with him. He started the hora without my cue and without double checking the bride and groom were even in the room (they weren’t). It was a tough night for me because I couldn’t understand where all that prep work had gone. What he was thinking about during our conversations, what timeline was he reading when he got my copy, where had their playlist gone since I knew he’d been sent it and had confirmed? But I (and you) can only control so much. Despite all best efforts, sometimes people are going to not do a good job or not follow through. I did everything I could (gave him my extra copy of the playlist, worked around the awkward premature hora start) and then had to let go. I knew I’d done my best. And if you know that, sometimes you need to lean back on that and trust it. Let go and move on with life (or the party).

Lesson #7: Outdoor weddings in DC can be… rough.

This is going to be somewhat controversial, but I’m going to say it anyway: DC is a humid, fairly horrid place in July and August (not to mention the potential thunderstorms). Think carefully if you plan an outdoor wedding during that time. Do you have a rain plan? Are you prepared to sweat all day? Do you have adequate cooling devices arranged as back-up? Does the caterer know to provide extra water so guests stay hydrated? Who will buy the back-up umbrellas? Have you clearly let your guests know it will be outside so they dress appropriately? Are you going to be upset the day-of when there’s not a lot of dancing because the guests simply don’t have the energy? Don’t get me wrong - it can work. But you need to consider all the tough parts about the heat and the rain before making the final call.

Lesson #8: It’s ok to sneak away

I thought I’d end on a fun and romantic note. This summer I had a couple come up to me about an hour before their party was officially to end and asked if it was “ok” for them to sneak away without an official goodbye. When nowadays big goodbyes, with ribbon wands, sparklers and photo opps are the norm, I loved this request to sneak off. I told them they should carefully consider if they have any guests who would be genuinely hurt without a goodbye (the Mom who helped set-up, the Grandma who traveled across the country) but that at the end of the day - it’s their wedding. There are no real rules as long as you’ve considered your guests. I adored them quietly walking off together - it meant they were remembering quite clearly that this party was really about them, their marriage and their time together. So romantic and a lovely way to end the evening, just the two of them. (And for the record, no guests were upset or offended at all...they were too busy dancing their faces off).

Wedding Lessons Learned // Part 1 // DC Wedding Planner

As the wedding season finally winds down, I thought it’d be fun to put together a lessons learned post so that you all can learn from my experience and I can take a trip down memory lane. I learned a lot this year - each wedding or event had it’s own particular little lesson. Some were big, some were small, but I think all of these are worth sharing. So here is Part One of my two-part series - these lessons mainly focus on DIY weddings:

Lesson #1: When doing an outdoor wedding, don’t forget about the wind.

Most event planners and coordinators know this already. And I thought I did, too. But one of my outdoor weddings this year was a great lesson in being sure to apply your knowledge thoroughly. I forgot to remind my client of the wind and therefore as I was setting up on a particularly windy day, I found myself with 12 toppled over DIY floral arrangements, as well as blowing placemats. Applying this lesson more broadly - when making decisions on decor or other wedding details, try and take a step back and think about the environment these details will be in. It might save you or your coordinator some grief later on.

Lesson #2: Don’t forget the stairs

Ah DIYers. I truly do love you. But don’t forget about the stairs. Due to several miscommunications beyond my control, at one wedding I found myself (along with several very loyal friends and family members) lugging 28 tables and 150 chairs up two flights of stairs. If you know you’re going to be doing a DIY wedding, consider your venue, consider the day-of, consider your family and friends, and consider how set-up and break down is actually going to work. Where is everything in relation to everything else? Where is the kitchen or catering area in relation to reception area? Where are the chairs stored in relation to where they need to be used? Where is the power source in relation to what needs to be plugged in? You get the idea.

Lesson #3: The garbage

This is a funny one but one that lots of DIYers don’t consider cause we’re not pinning dumpsters on Pinterest when dreaming about our wedding day. When doing a real, down and dirty DIY wedding in which you’re using an untraditional reception venue or self catering, don’t forget about the garbage. In a “traditional” wedding the caterer takes care of the garbage - often actually taking it with them and disposing of it at their own site (some venues don’t allow the use of their dumpsters). I did an unconventional, self-catered wedding this year and the venue did not make it clear that they wouldn’t accept the garbage. So on the day of I, along with the other hired servers (bless them), took the garbage home in our cars. It wasn’t a big deal - but also something most people would try and avoid if possible. So always ask about who is providing the garbage cans, where garbage goes post-event, and know who is handling it.

Lesson #4: Don’t overdo it

I get the DIY crafty bug. I really do. But make sure that you always take a step back and consider whether you’re actually going to use all of the elements you’re creating. If it’s physically possible to use that many votives, or ribbon wands, or napkins. I’ve had multiple instances this year in which the DIYers went overboard. And while it certainly doesn’t ruin anyone’s day or cause any issues, I couldn’t help but mourn the loss of all that TIME they could have spent in other ways. So please be practical in your DIY projects. If you had made 100 instead of 1,000 paper cranes maybe the planning process would have been more fun for you. Or maybe you just could have had more date nights, which are way more fun.

Stay tuned for Part 2 next week! More tips coming your way...

Audrey and Adrian // Glen Echo Park, MD // MD Wedding Planner

I helped Audrey and Adrian with Month-Of Coordination for their Glen Echo Park wedding this September. It was an intimate affair of about 50 guests - a size I ended up enjoying as it felt like a real communal gathering rather than an over-the-top party (and something the bride and groom were obviously hoping and going for). Before I get to the rain (wa wa waaa), can we talk about how gorgeous Audrey is? I adored her hairpiece, dress, red lips… the whole thing was just stunning.

So yeah. It unfortunately rained. Hard. All day and night. Like, legitimately started raining at 3pm when I arrived for set-up and steadily rained right until 11pm when the guests were leaving. But Audrey, Adrian and their friends and family did an awesome job embracing/ignoring the rain. Their ceremony was originally planned for the small grassy portion of Glen Echo Park by the carousel, but the rain thwarted those plans. Luckily we had the Cuddle-Up Pavilion as back-up and it was great.

After a cocktail hour in the Bumper Car Pavilion (which luckily wasn’t too crowded since they had a smaller reception), along with some great shots at the carousel, the guests sat down to a family-style picnic meal and then danced their booties off. I need to quickly mention how beautifully Audrey styled her reception. She used Glen Echo well and did an upscale picnic-type vibe. She picked bold red, blues and yellows - mismatching florals with picnic checkers and chose beautiful botanical plates. I just loved it, so had to give her that shout-out!

Big thanks and congrats again to Audrey and Adrian!

Audrey and Adrian's Vendors:

Event Coordination: Katie Wannen, The Plannery

Venue: Glen Echo Park, MD

Caterer: Five Fifty Catering

Photographer: Michelle Frankfurter

DJ: Steve Hoffman, Good Note DJ

Officiant: Maureen Burke

Elisabeth and Adam // Carnegie Library, Washington DC // DC Wedding Planner

Elisabeth and Adam are rad. It’s just true. Case in point: they met at a NOW conference. Elisabeth was recruiting attendees and donors for the PAC reception and auction that supports women running for office. Adam received a text from a mutual friend who asked "how do you feel about feminists and open bars?" Adam's response? "I like where this is going."

I worked with them as their Month-Of Coordinator for their wedding this past July at Carnegie Library and had a blast. Elisabeth and Adam together, apart, and as mirrored in all their incredibly friendly, awesome friends and family, are witty, smart, goofy, gorgeous and kick-a$$. As you shall see:

After they both got ready, we started the day at Carnegie Library to do a first look as well as some bridal party photos. It unfortunately was raining that day and so we waited an extra 15 minutes to try and avoid them getting too wet on their way to the synagogue for their ceremony!

And ah, their ceremony. Their ceremony might be my favorite ceremony of the year. It was so personal, so touching, so funny - it was really them and therefore, it was beautiful. Plus, Lis walked herself down the aisle, which is bad-ass.  The ceremony took place in the stunning chapel at Washington Hebrew Congregation - I thought this intimate, warm, and lovely chapel was the perfect ceremony space.

Back at Carnegie, Main Event Caterers were getting the reception all set up (along with my fantastic assistant for the day, Shana - yay Shana!). Lis and Adam's overall theme was “Come Fly With Us” - as they both love to travel. Adam’s mother does floral and event design and she created the most beautiful escort card chart, as well as adorable little airplanes we added to the floral arrangements by Lisa Sommers at Petals and Promises. Their tables were also all named after some of their favorite destinations. After a great meal, they danced the night away. And this crowd DANCED, people. They partied hard and it was incredible.

Congrats again to Lis and Adam!

Elisabeth and Adam's Vendors:

Event Coordination: Katie Wannen, The Plannery

Ceremony Venue: Washington Hebrew Congregation

Reception Venue: Carnegie Library

Caterer: Main Event

Photographer: George Street Photo

Florist: Lisa Sommers, Petals and Promises

DJ: Bialecks Music

Here's to my anniversary

Today is my wedding anniversary.

It’s been a crazy year with lots of highs and lots of lows and I couldn’t have gotten through the hard and enjoyed the good without him.

So here’s to him. Here’s to my rock. Here’s to my favorite thing. Here’s to the best home chef I know. Here’s to the arms that make me feel safe. Here’s to the man who serenaded me on our wedding day and got the entire crowd to sing with him. Here’s to my adventurer. Here's to my laughter. Here's to watching in awe and ecstasy on your wedding day as your guy crushes his 80's dance moves to Poison. Here's to the man who made October 23rd my most favorite day. Here’s to my husband.

Happy anniversary from your Katie May

Happy Plannerversary!

The Plannery is officially one year old today! I want to thank the DC area wedding industry for being so bafflingly rad. When I moved here from Brooklyn I had no sense of the DC wedding community, how long it would take me to make connections and get new clients, whether this venture would even work. But I was immediately blown away by how friendly the wedding vendors were (and continue to be). I honestly never thought that within the short span of a year I'd actually FEEL like I was a part of a greater (and awesome) community - so thank you, thank you!

I want to thank the DC area engaged folks for (whew!) proving me right in wanting a wedding planner and coordinator who is down-to-earth and has a sense of humor. I took a big risk in my marketing - but at the end of the day felt it was best to truly be me and I hoped potential clients would see and understand that. It's been so wonderful to get such positive feedback on my website and my services. And I'm so glad I didn't scare too many people away with the fact that I get sh*t done!

I want to thank Maryland for passing their marriage equality laws shortly after I moved here. Having both DC and Maryland support same-sex marriage meant a lot to me personally and professionally - and it means I get to work with fantastic clients who are super-psyched about getting married (and don't take that privilege for granted). Now get your sh*t together, VA.

I want to thank my friends, family, and especially my husband, for being so garsh-darned supportive. Running bios, web design, pricing, and marketing ideas by you all helped make this happen. And I'm incredibly lucky to have a husband who wanted me to really give it my all - really do this 100% to see what was possible and see how The Plannery could grow (not to mention, he came up with the name so he wins).

Long story short, THANK YOU.

The Plannery still has tons of ways it needs to and can grow and expand. I'm really only getting started. But I'm proud of this first year and how far my little Plannery has come. Looking forward to many more years!