wedding planning advice

What a Wedding Designer Would do Differently for Their Own Wedding

We’re continuing our monthly series of “What We’d Do Differently” for our weddings today with some wise words from Kim, our Event Designer! Read on to learn more about wedding dress shopping, spending time with guests, and one of the most often discussed vendors (in my experience), a wedding videographer!

So many memories come back looking through our wedding pictures—friends and family coming together, the music and dancing… the 100-degree weather while getting our pictures taken! While we couldn’t have planned for the heat, there were a few other things I would have done a little differently looking back:

DC wedding

Hire a Wedding Videographer

Four and a half years later and this is still my biggest regret. It was one of the things we decided to cut after signing a few vendor contracts and getting a better understanding of how much weddings actually cost. I was getting a bit worried about staying in our budget and was overwhelmed looking for other vendors so, I didn’t do much work in researching videographers who might be on the cheaper end or new to the field. I really wish I had. Even a student videographer would have been better than none! It’s the first thing I tell people when they ask if I had any regrets. I love watching other people’s wedding videos and still wish we had one of our own, but our photographs will have to suffice, which is OK because we loved our photographer!

DC Wedding Dress Shopping Tips

Wedding dress shopping: more of it, and go it alone

I want to preface this by saying I loved my dress and still do. I went to two boutiques with some immediate family members both times and it was not too stressful to have their opinions. Thinking back though, I wish I had gone once more, alone. I think having a third time with just my thoughts and trying some styles I might not have considered before would have been fun. Whenever someone tells me they’re going dress shopping I get so excited for them and think about sneaking back to a salon and pretending I’m getting married again just to try on a few more ;)

DC Wedding

Allow More Time To Visit With Wedding Guests

This might be a common one as Katie mentioned the same thing! For some reason we stayed in a back room while cocktail hour happened. Maybe I was worried we’d get off schedule if we went and walked around, who knows, but I think it would have been fine! We didn’t allocate time to do this during dinner either and I feel like we didn’t see half the people we invited. I know the day is crazy but I wish we set aside time for this. Looking back at our reception pictures it would have been nice for the two of us to be in more of them with our guests and not just each other.

Let your wedding train go

Let the Train of my Wedding Dress Down!

OK, this sounds silly and so small but I noticed in a few of our pictures that I was carrying my train around. I wish I had let it go and trail behind me as it was meant to. I think I didn’t want it to get dirty (understandable) but looking back I only got to wear the dress once and should have showed it off more. Something to keep in the back of your mind while you’re getting pictures taken!

DC Wedding

Of course none of these things ruined the wedding entirely—I loved every minute of that day. It’s easy to say I should have done this or that when looking back but, in the moment it all felt like the right choice. Hopefully my look back with give some perspective to current couples in the midst of planning. Whatever you decide, though, just make sure it makes you happy!









What a Wedding Planner Would do Differently For Their Own Wedding, Part Deux

We’re continuing our series of “What Would a Wedding Planner Do Differently for Their OWN Wedding” with our very own Rebecca! (if you missed our Part 1, check it out here!). Rebecca has some wonderful advice (and beautiful photos from Jess Latos Photography) - so enjoy and learn!

I think every couple second guesses things about their wedding, or there are things that they would do differently. For wedding planners, though, it's a WHOLE different ballgame! Our whole lives are about nitpicking every single detail, so not only do we do that BEFORE our weddings, but after them too!!

Capon Springs Wedding

But first, let me tell you a little about my wedding, and some of the MANY, MANY, MANY things about it that I loved. I absolutely ADORED our venue, Capon Springs, an all-inclusive family resort that has been owned and operated by the same family for generations.

I KNOW, RIGHT?!??!?! It was everything we wanted -- within driving distance for (almost) everyone, DELICIOUS food, everyone could stay "on site" and we were allowed to bring our own alcohol (a HUGE deal for me...it was literally my only deal breaker when looking at venues.) Picture the resort from Dirty Dancing, and you have Capon Springs (or, for a more recent reference, the resort in the Catskills from Season 2 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel).

I LOVED all of our vendors. Having been in the wedding industry for over 10 years at that time, I knew a lot of vendors, obviously, although none of them were in West Virginia! Luckily we were able to have our "friendors" travel and stay at the resort and enjoy the weekend! (This included our amazing photographer Jessica Latos, our Florist, Katie Martin, our planners, Anjie and Laura, (this was before I worked for The Plannery!), and our officiant, Amanda Tate. The only "local" vendors we had to find were Hair and Makeup (the AMAZING SAS Studio out of Winchester) and our rental company for chairs.

Ok, so the things I would have done differently? They were, in the grand scheme of things, pretty minor.

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

The Ceremony Programs

I loved our programs, but for about a year before the wedding I had been collecting leftover flowers from my weddings as a planner, saving and drying the flower petals. Then I chopped them up into confetti, put them in glassine bags, and attached them to the front of the programs for people to throw.

DUDE! What even was the point?!?!? You totally can't see them in this photo. Which is SO not the photographer's fault! See that ribbon in the right hand corner? That's what we handed out to the kids who kicked off our processional (our wedding parade). I should have just made more of those (they were SO EASY to make!) and had our planners hand them out to the people on the aisles. That picture would have been a lot better. (Also? How freaking cute are these kids?!?)

Photos by Jess Latos Photography

Photos by Jess Latos Photography

First Look Location

I would have specifically chosen our first look location, or scouted something out with our photographer. It was raining on and off that day, so I TOTALLY understand why she picked the location she did (it was just outside of the cottage where I got ready). But...well, just look...

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

Meh...it's fine. There are just TONS of gorgeous locations at Capon Springs (see...

image-6.png

So I would have been more specific about choosing a location.

Wedding Ceremony Sound

The sound was TOTALLY messed up for our ceremony, but that's not really a planning thing I would have changed -- it was just an unfortunate thing that happened. (Like I said, it was raining on and off all day, and literally at the last minute it stopped, the Capon Staff ran out and wiped down the benches, and we were able to go with our plan A...which I was SO HAPPY about!)

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

But, unfortunately, something happened and I think the speakers were too far from the DJ or something, so you couldn't really hear the music or the officiant if you weren't in the front row. Clearly, 3 1/2 years later, it's still something I think about.

We were planning to do a few large family photos after the ceremony, but it was pretty chilly (see all those people in coats above?!), so I told my planners "Forget it, tell people to just go inside for cocktail hour), and it is something I don't regret AT ALL! The food at our cocktail hour was SO GOOD, and people were pretty happy to be inside in front of the fire place!!!

Wear Your Glasses! (aka be yourself!)

Another thing I don't regret...see any differences between these two pictures?

That's right...GLASSES! I got contacts for the wedding, but I am SO not a contacts wearer. I took them out immediately after the ceremony, and felt a huge sigh of relief. And I've never worn contacts another day in my life! If you're not normally a contacts wearer, don't force yourself just for your wedding! I promise, you'll look beautiful in your glasses!!

Inventory Your Wedding DIY Items

The only thing I regret from the reception is that I didn't use a tool I now use as a planner, which is a personal inventory (something I've learned from Katie Wannen!) We do a personal inventory for all of our couples, which is a spreadsheet that I break down into ceremony, cocktail hour and reception, and for each section I list EVERY SINGLE THING that the couple is bringing, or that needs to be set up, even if someone else is bringing it. I list how it's getting there, where it's going at the wedding, and what's happening to it at the end of the night. If I had done that for the wedding, the one thing that I STILL think about that was missing from the reception, a bar menu that I (ok, more artistically talented friends of mine) worked on REALLY HARD, would have been displayed. (It was like this, but with drinks, not food. The food one is cute too!)

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

This was really just a problem of miscommunication -- I think different people each thought someone else had done it, so it didn't get displayed until I noticed it missing...and by then it was towards the end of the night. It's such a stupid thing to be upset about, but I made up REALLY clever names for our drinks that went with our TV-themed wedding!

("What were they," you ask? Well, there was the "Snake Juice" (Parks and Recreation) (This was 1921 Crema Tequila...I highly recommend it.)

"The Rory" (Gilmore Girls) (A DELICIOUS Grapefruit Moscow Mule)

"There's Always Money in the Banana Stand" (A "sounds weird but is amazing" combo of Banana liqueur and Cream Soda

"The Ron Swanson" (Lagavulin)

Take Care of Your Wedding Guests

Lastly, I regret not just biting the bullet and buying a ton of blankets to set out at the reception. Guys? It was COLD up there. Craig and I went up to the pavilion to greet guests as they arrived (sort of a reverse receiving line, which I highly recommend), but we were freezing -- especially the one of us with a sleeveless dress! Luckily one of my dad's friends had a blanket in his car, and at some point my new mother-in-law went and got me my sweatshirt (and trust me...a red hoodie looks AMAZING with a white lace wedding dress if it's cold enough!) A few of the female guests even changed into jeans or leggings it was so cold! We had three big, warm fireplaces, but if you were sitting far away from them, it was still pretty chilly. I wish I had thought to get some nice warm blankets from Amazon so people could wrap themselves up in them. (Notice I didn't say I wish we had moved our reception inside -- LOOK AT THIS COOL SPOT! I could never have moved it indoors...it would have hurt my soul).

Jess Latos Photography

Jess Latos Photography

Beware the Wedding Vendors who Overpromise

Photo by Jess Latos Photography (an example of a vendor who promises and delivers!)

Photo by Jess Latos Photography (an example of a vendor who promises and delivers!)

Every once in a while I write a post that goes out not only to our potential clients and those engaged folks, but also to my fellow wedding vendors. This is one of those posts, and is a bit of a cautionary tale about vendors who overpromise.

I recently assisted in a wedding in which the clients had very expensive taste, but - frankly - didn’t want to spend the money that accompanies those tastes :) That’s fine, and it happens a lot. But my job as a planner, and every wedding vendor’s job, is to help clients understand what can and can’t be done for X amount of dollars, and then provide alternatives or options. There’s a real danger in “yes”ing your clients (or, if you’re planning a wedding, in having vendors that seem to be too good to be true - are promising a lot, for not a lot of money). If vendors overpromise and underdeliver - the clients are going to be disappointed. That’s not anything anyone wants on their wedding day.

In this specific case, there were multiple vendors who had said they could do X, Y and Z, but actually had never done it before (!) and frankly, couldn’t deliver. One vendor not only failed to do what they said they could do, but actually created a dangerous situation (that I had to insist be taken down). Another vendor simply verbally embellished certain aspects, but it wasn’t in the budget to really follow through on what they’d claimed they’d be able to provide.

So I urge vendors not to “yes” your clients, thinking it’s better to get the sale than to have the tough conversation and have them walk away. It’s not. Having a disappointed and angry bride or groom is way worse than being honest and upfront about what you can and can’t do. And clients - appreciate the vendors who are honest with you. And trust them :) If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Instead, work on either shifting your priorities and budget (move some funds from one area over to another), or shift your expectations and see if some other creative ideas and different options might create a similar result for less money. Because the last thing anyone wants - both the clients and the vendors - is to have anyone be disappointed, frustrated, or even angry on their wedding day.