Why Wedding Planning is about Mental Health

Photo by Margaret Wroblewski

We don’t often think about weddings and mental health. But because this is mental health month, I thought I’d take a moment to talk about why weddings, and wedding planning in particular, are actually connected to your mental health.

I hadn’t made this connection until recently, when we decided to take a look back at the many reviews and input we’ve received from our clients over the years. And what suddenly became apparent was that nearly all reviews talked about how we made them FEEL.

“Unlike many of our friends, my (new!) husband and I thought wedding planning was super fun and did not find it stressful. ”

— Emily and Paul

“my husband and I were actually able to enjoy our wedding from start to finish—we were able to eat, drink and dance all night, not having to worry about the little details.”

— Rebecca and Andrew

“I truly felt like I could sit back and enjoy my wedding and not have to worry and that is the best feeling.”

— Kylene and Tony

And those feelings often had to do with stress and worry. And stress? Stress can be a huge trigger for poor mental health.

Now I’m not in any way saying our expertise as wedding planners can compare with a therapist or mental health professional! Heeeeeeck no. But. The wedding planning process can bring up a LOT. You’re navigating decision making with your new partner, sometimes for the first time. You may be navigating difficult family dynamics. You’re looking at budgets and money and finances, which can sometimes cause stress. Not to mention the ridiculous and abnormal stress society at large puts on this ONE BIG DAY (which I call bullshit on BTW).

So whether it’s one of us at The Plannery or not, I urge you to hire vendors and wedding planners who make your life easier. Who take away the mental stress, rather than add to it. Who help you FEEL good, both during the planning and on your wedding day. We all need to take care of ourselves these days, so please think about your mental health as you begin your wedding planning journey.

Jordan and Zachary's Dockmaster Building DC Winter Wedding

Photo by Bee Two Sweet

I love me some winter weddings, especially on the water. This stunning bride and groom were dressed to impress as they cemented their love in classic Jewish tradition at the breathtaking Dockmaster Building, one of the awesome event spaces that the Wharf in DC can provide. One of my favorite touches: The couple incorporated books, old and new, from their personal library…a cornerstone of their relationship - and even incorporated flowers from book pages in the bride’s hair and bouquet!

Congratulations to Jordan and Zachary! Enjoy the spectacular captures from Brittany at Bee Two Sweet Photography 

Jordan and Zachary’s Vendors:

Wedding Coordinator: Tarra Morgan, The Plannery

Venue: Dockmaster Building

Caterer: Main Event Caterers

Photographer: Bee Two Sweet

Florist: She Loves Me

Cake: Buttercream Bake Shop

Hair/Make-up: TC Beauty

Why we don't make your wedding decisions for you

Photo by Ayesha Ahmad Photography

“She doesn't force her opinion on anyone, but gives amazing, decisive advice when you ask for it.”

- one of our recent clients about our lead planner, Rebecca O’Donnell

We get this feedback a lot from our clients. And this is one of the major factors in figuring out what kind of a wedding planner you’re looking for. Do you want a planner who is going to take the reigns entirely and make decisions for you, or one who will assist you in making wedding decisions? Neither one is better or worse. It’s about what’s right for you.

Here at The Plannery, we won’t make wedding decisions for you. We not only believe it’s YOUR money to spend (therefore your decision), but most importantly, we always want our clients weddings to reflect their values and their priorities - not OURS.

So what do we do if we don’t make wedding decisions? We help make those decisions easier. We listen to you. We help you figure out what your values and priorities are to begin with! We then narrow down your options when it comes to vendors and other wedding planning decisions. Not to mention, we keep it practical in terms of helping you see which decisions are even possible when it comes to your wedding budget.

Some folks are so busy that they actually want someone to make final decisions for them. Some really want to hear what is on-trend and just do whatever that is for their wedding. And again - that’s great if it’s right for you! But we are not those planners. We take our cues from you, listen, help you clarify your vision, desires and priorities, and then make the decision making process easy.

Which one is right for you?

Get Political on your wedding day!

Happy Election Day! I hope you all head out and vote today!

Since DC is such a political town, we’ve seen our fair share of subtle and not-so-subtle nods to politics in the weddings we’ve helped plan and coordinate. So today, in honor of Election Day, we thought we’d round up some of our favorites! Enjoy! and happy voting!!

Wedding Buttons as Favors

We’ve had multiple couples create small favors for their guests in the form of pseudo political buttons!

Photo by Bee Two Sweet Photography

Embrace Your Political Differences

My very favorite guest books were from a couple who came from opposite sides of the aisle. They had Reagan and Obama posters as their guest books and I loved that they didn’t shy away from talking about their differences!

Photo by Sarah Gormley Photography

Stand up for what you believe in

Many of our couples use their wedding as a way to share their political beliefs. From rainbow pins instead of boutonnieres, to protest signs, to statements on their ceremony programs regarding marriage equality - your wedding day can be a time to stand up for what you believe in and share it with friends and family.

Photo by Justin McCallum Photography

Photo by Ayesha Ahmad Photography

Embrace DC!

Yup, you’re getting married in DC - might as well embrace it! Take photos in front of the Capital or other important, political landmarks and make your mark!

Photo by Love Life Images

Photo by Love Life Images

Photo by Michael O’Snyder

A Musical Wedding

Photo by DuHon Photography

We think of music at weddings in the usual ways - ceremony music, having an awesome band for your dance party, what your first dance song will be, etc. But if you’re a couple that really loves music, what are some other ways to incorporate that passion for music into your wedding day?

We’ve had some really creative couples come up with other options - so check them out below and let us know what you think!

A Musical Guestbook

We’ve had two separate couples use records as their guest books! It’s a unique way to share your love of music (or even particular songs and artists), while collecting the names of your guests

Photo by Chris Ferenzi

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

A Nod to your Favorite Concert

Alicia and Matt, one of our awesome, past couples, used concert wrist bands at their wedding!! Such a fun way to keep track of your guests if the venue requires it, while adding a little nod to your concert-going

Photo by The Oberports

Get creative at cocktail hour

We’ve had many clients get a bit more creative at cocktail hour as way to honor either their wedding’s location, their heritage, or other musical aspects. One of our favorite DC weddings had a DC-based funk band meet their guests at the church! Another couple wanted to honor their Irish heritage and had a fiddle and pipe player for their cocktail hour, which even led to some Irish dancing! Whatever direction you go, think outside the musical box for cocktails. It’s a great, more casual time to have a little fun and be more non traditional

Photo by Mathy Shoots People

Photo by DeNueva Photo

Music as Decor

Mariah and Rob used records as decor! They hung records from the ceiling to create a super fun look, all while tipping their hat to their love of music

Photo by Stephen Gosling

Musical Invitations

Angelina and Ron had some of the best wedding invitations I’d seen - they used Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix stamps on their wedding invites!

Photo by Olivia Jacob Photography

Musical Theatre Nerds, Unite!

And I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention several of our couples who gave a little shout-out to the musical, Hamilton! One bride wore an A. Ham (if you know, you know) hat when they were announced into the reception. And my other favorite did a spin on the Hamilton Playbill for their ceremony program! Such creative, fun ideas:

Photo by DuHon Photography

Photo by Ayesha Ahmad Photography

How to find the right Wedding Planner for you

Photo by Margaret Wroblewski

Happy New Year! With engagement season (aka the holiday season!) having just passed, I thought we’d dedicate the month of January to all things wedding planning for those of you who are newly engaged and just getting started.

We've spoken previously about what wedding coordinators do - but I realized I hadn’t done a deep dive into the wedding planning realm. Having a professional planner can be an invaluable resource you may want to consider - so we’re today we’ll talk about what wedding planning services are out there, as well as how to find the right wedding planner that fits your needs.

Photo by Jess Latos Photography

Which Wedding Planning Services Are Right For You?

The first step is to think about what kind of help you really need - and want.

We offer both partial and full planning - and depending on who are as a couple, either one may be the better fit for you. If you’re someone with an incredibly busy job, who isn’t always great staying on top of to-do items and really want some major hand-holding and guidance throughout the wedding planning process, full planning is the right option for you. We help you formulate your budget, clarify your needs and wants and priorities, schedule and attend all wedding related meetings, assist in researching and booking your venue and wedding vendors, arrange hotel room blocks, among many other details.

If, on the other hand, you’re slightly more proactive, want to be more involved in the planning process, but still want guidance, partial planning is an awesome option (and we find we tend to attract these couples the most!). For Partial Planning we help create your initial budget and nail down your major vendors (venue, caterer, photographer, music, and florist). We then provide you with a planning timeline, with major to-do’s for you to cross off throughout the next months, and then reemerge to assist in month-of coordination to make sure the event runs smoothly. We’re also always available throughout as a resource, with unlimited communication!

Event Design is another wrinkle often thrown into wedding planning services. Some planners offer it with all their packages, others don’t offer it at all. I personally think ours is a great option because it’s similar to our other packages in that we’re able to provide you with event design guidance and tools, tailored to YOU, to then help you make other design related decisions down the line.

I think one of the final questions to ask yourself is what you value and what matters to you for your wedding. If you’re someone who wants someone to make decisions for you and tell you what to do - hire someone who will do that! I will say, however - that won’t be us! We are very upfront about the fact that as planners, we are here as resources and guides, someone who will help narrow your decision making, and make the process easier - but we won’t ever make decisions FOR you. We firmly believe the wedding should be a reflection of the couple - whoever they are and whatever they love - not us, as planners. Also, frankly, it’s your money. So it’s your final decision.

So now that you know what you want…

Photo by Mantas Kubilinskas

What Should You Look For In A Wedding Planner?

This is a tough one because every couple is so different. I firmly believe ALL wedding vendors should make the process of planning easy for you. Therefore, look for someone who is a clear communicator and who is easy to talk to. Did they respond to your inquiry in a timely manner? Did you enjoy speaking with them and feel like they “got” you? What about other forms of communication? Is their website clear? Does it clearly state their services, pricing (pricing transparency is key!! We try our best to be as upfront as possible), and values (see below)?

I also believe your wedding planner should reflect your values. Whether you’re an LGBTQ couple or not, hiring a planner who is outspoke and very explicit in their support and beliefs means that planner will only be recommending similarly supportive vendors. As one of our clients said about The Plannery, “as both my husband and I consider ourselves allies of the LGBT community, I really appreciate how open they are about supporting LGBT couples as well couples of diverse/mixed backgrounds and religions… It was a refreshing ‘icing on the cake’ to work with a vendor who was so transparent and open about this topic and even though we don't personally identify, we truly admire this honorable approach to their services as we have many loved ones in our lives who do.” 

Finally, I always recommend reading reviews and asking for references! Hearing from couples first-hand is a wonderful way to get a feel for a planner - both throughout the planning process as well as on the day-of. I recently went back through our many, many reviews to see what words stuck out the most. We were often described as “responsive”, “organized” planners who provided “seamless” and “stress-free” experiences. If that speaks to you, wonderful! If not, find a planner whose clients describe what matters most to you for your wedding day!

Why to Have a Winter Wedding

As we head into the holiday season, I thought I’d write a small ode to the winter wedding. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but there are some very good reasons to consider it - so for those of you recently engaged and starting to envision your wedding, I urge you to give winter a second chance!

Winter Weddings Save You Dough

Photo by Sam Hurd

Winter is what we in the wedding industry like to call the “slow” season - so most wedding venues will offer discounted rates for the colder, winter months. Similarly, you can often negotiate with other wedding vendors to potentially get their pricing down since demand isn’t quite as high.

Your Winter Wedding Brings Color to a Gray Season, in More Ways Than One

Photo by Mary Sandoval Photography

Let’s face it - after the holidays, the winter season can sometimes be a bit gray and gloomy. People are gonna be super psyched to have a reason to celebrate, and I’ve often found some of the happiest and rowdiest crowds are at winter weddings! Not only that, but having a wedding during the winter means you bring life and color, literally, to the world. No matter what you wear, you’ll pop in your photos against the stark but beautiful background of the colder months.

Embrace the Romance of a Winter Wedding

Photo by Sam Hurd

Winter is a time to hibernate, to snuggle with the ones you love. Many of the winter weddings I’ve worked have really embraced the romance of the winter, with lots of candlelight, warmth and frankly, the magic that comes with it. I had one wedding literally hand out candles to all the guests and do a candle lit ceremony (shut up, how gorgeous is that??!!). So whether it be a venue with lots of fireplaces, having hot cocoa stations, or just some beautiful tapers on long dining tables, winter is a wonderful time to fully embrace the romance of the season.

Winter Wedding Fashion

Photo by Amber Wilkie

Winter weddings mean you get to be a bit more creative with your wedding attire in order to stay warm. So whether you grab your grandmother’s old fur stole, go for a full-on suit, or don a white puffy coat, the options in winter are fun, fabulous and different.

Kaylan and Kyle Longview Gallery Washington DC Wedding

Photo by Sloane Dakota Photo

I love nothing more than a couple that knows exactly what they want. Kaylan and Kyle kept true to their visions throughout the planning process. Their style and tastes were interwoven in every single solitary detail - from the bar menu to calligraphy work, to the sprigs of rosemary at each place setting, all thought out so meticulously, and so them. It is no surprise with Kyle being part prominent figure in the DC food and beverage industry that their dinner menu (provided by Spilled Milk) was one of the finest I have seen thus far at a wedding. The main attractions being Pancetta-Wrapped Quail Roulade and a Mustard-Glazed Rockfish, YUM! Cocktails were served out of a specially crafted Jockey Box, CO2 Tank with regulator… ummmm yeah, I had to look that one up! :) And let’s not forget the extremely enormous bottle of Billecart-Salmon Brut Rose that Kyle surprised Kaylan with, a 3L Jeroboam to be specific. It was literally bigger than my head. This wedding was the epitome of intimate wining and dining among beloved family and friends- an absolutely incredible night of love and laughter in Washington, DC. Congrats again, Kaylan and Kyle!

Kaylan and Kyle’s Vendors:

Coordinator: Tarra Morgan, The Plannery

Venue: Longview Gallery

Caterer: Spilled Milk

Photography: Sloane Dakota Photo

DJ: Kelton Higgins

Florist: Sill Life

Cake: Fluffy Thoughts

Hair/Make-up: Alison Harper

Abby and Scott's Carnegie Institution for Science Wedding

Photo by Sam Hurd

I really love December weddings. And I especially love December weddings at Carnegie Institution for Science, a venue so gorgeous, you don’t care if it’s cold outside! Abby and Scott got married this past December. After a first-look and some photos both at the hotel and the venue, they signed the ketubah and then were off to get married. They opted for an in-the-round ceremony which beautifully highlights the Carnegie’s rotunda. After cocktails they had a lovely dinner by Design Cuisine - I adored all of Abby’s choices for linens and design. She brought in some great green colors that accented the season, but also didn’t go to far into the wintery route and brought in some lovely blues as well! Enjoy these romantic and stunning photos by Sam Hurd, and enjoy dreaming of that cozy, cold weather that will be here before we know it!

Abby and Scott’s Vendors:

Venue: Carnegie Institution for Science, Washington, DC

Coordinator: Katie Wannen, The Plannery

Caterer: Design Cuisine

Photographer: Sam Hurd

Music: DJ Mark Maskell

Florist: Highway to Hill

Make-up: Alison Harper & Co

How do you want to feel on your wedding day?

Photo by Shandi Wallace

I recently talked on my InstaStories about exercise, and how tangentially that related back to wedding planning (check my ramblings out here in my highlights, if you want the original source material!). Basically, I was thinking about how I, as a typical type-A person, suffer from anxiety and I’ve recently been using exercise to help manage my mental health, keeping me feeling good and happy.

I was then thinking about all you poor couples out there - brides and grooms who are so often marketed to about how you’re going to LOOK on your day. How to lose the weight for your wedding, fit into the dress, all that bullshit (including this recent NY Times article that sent me into a rage spiral). And not only that, but what items you’re going to have at your wedding that can be photographed and then blogged about. What the centerpieces will look like. What the venue looks like. Looks, looks, looks, looks, looks.

Which brought me back to feelings (cue “feelings…”). At The Plannery, as much as we care about how things look and that your florist or event designer is doing what they should and everything looks as you want it to look, what we actually care about, and what I consider my JOB - is that you feel good. Our main priority is how you feel, NOT how you look. If you’re feeling calm, relaxed, stress-free, able to have fun and in the moment then I have done my job.

Photo by Go Kate Shoot

And so though how you feel is what I believe sets us apart as wedding planners, that’s really hard to Instagram. I don’t have a lot of pretty pictures to show you what feeling good on your wedding day looks like (though I certainly can try, and sometimes the awesome photographers I’ve worked with capture just that!). But I’ll just ask you to step away for a moment from the social media, the wedding magazines and blogs, the mood boards (though we do love ourselves some mood boards), and think about this question that very few people ask you: how do you want to feel on your wedding day?

And then hire people who will make the process of planning a wedding, and your actual wedding day, feel really damn good.

Photo by Shandi Wallace